Post partum: Body positivity and mental health
So you pushed out a baby a few weeks ago? Have you started your new work out routine yet? What about a diet to lose that baby weight? How about a yummy mummy tummy tuck!?
These are the things that are yelled at us from billboards, instagram, facebook and even the mouths of our most loved ones. We went from golden goddesses, ripe with child, worshiped and full of life. Blessed with the flowering infant growing inside us....but as soon as they are out we need to snap back. Get back on track and do it fast.
The reality is, there is no snap back. Even if you're one of those women who immediately return to their pre-pregnancy weight, what you see isn't always what you get.
You have, over the past 9 months, grown from scratch and entirely new human and then pushed it out of the softest most sensitive part of your body. You may have stretch marks, sciatica, haemorrhoids, perennial tearing, vaginal grazes, a c-section incision, post partum hair loss, varicose veins, baby blues, post natal depression or birth trauma! And along with that you have a brand new baby who you have to learn how to care for. No one in their right mind would tell someone who had just been in an accident to start shaping up as soon as they are out of hospital, so why is it ok to say it to mums?
Every day doesn't have to be a good day. Sure you may have seen a photo of yourself you hate, or looked at yourself in a judgemental way while you got dressed. your clothes may feel tight or your hair needs a wash. It's ok to feel a bit sad about how you look sometimes, we all do. The main thing is to look at the incredible feat you have achieved and give yourself a break girl!
I have very noticeable stretch marks on my tummy from Olive. And I will admit, I don't feel great about them. In fact I can't wait for them to fade. I wasn't expecting to get them. They appeared at the very end of my pregnancy as Olive grew rapidly to prepare for birth, my skin split inside like one of those foam nets around an expensive, Japanese pear. But I don't let it define how I feel about my body. I vent about it occasionally, but then I put on some cute clothes and BAM! I no longer feel so bad.
As my friend Tahnee said to me recently, we shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad. Sometimes the first step to feeling better is letting yourself feel briefly sad. Don't beat yourself up because you can't be on top of your game every day, or you're just feeling sad because you are not quite ready to wear you pre-pregnancy jeans yet. You are allowed to feel sad. It doesn't make you selfish or vain or a bad Mum. It makes you human. Just take it one day at a time.
Eating healthy food and getting as much sleep as you can can really help with mental health. Which sounds impossible, but this is when you need to be brave and ask for some help. Even if it means just pumping and storing some milk and asking a kind person to cuddle your baby for two hours so you can sleep or do some meal prep or just go out with a friend and have some me time. (Even better, ask someone to come over and fold your laundry or walk your dog. You will be surprised how many people would love to help.) Having good mental health will help you to see yourself clearly. It is all to easy to fall into a spiral of self doubt if you're over tired and everything is piling on top of you.
I stupidly started trying to go for walks about three days after Olive was born. By the time I got to the coffee shop around the corner from my house I felt like I was going to feint, or vomit. It turns out that even though I felt ok enough, I was chronically low in Iron. So though this was a very gentle activity, I still needed to rest and restore my body properly first. When you give birth you lose so much blood, even during a "normal" birth it's no wonder you need months to recover.
It is really really important to wait until you six week check before participating in and strenuous exercise. The doctor will check everything from your blood to your cervix and let you know exactly when and how you should start to exercise, if that is something you desire.
Mental health is nothing to mess with and being bombarded by media telling us we need to be perfect can be overwhelming. Having a baby in general can be overwhelming and sometimes isolating.
If you are feeling really sad, like you can't cope or like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it is vital you contact someone immediately and let them know how you're feeling. There are so many resources now for women to get the help they deserve. Even your GP can assist you!
And lastly, no shame at all to the ladies who do get a tummy tuck, what ever makes you feel happy and good about yourself. Rock that post baby body babes, be it curvy, petite or in between. You're all gorgeous and deserve to feel that way!
These are the things that are yelled at us from billboards, instagram, facebook and even the mouths of our most loved ones. We went from golden goddesses, ripe with child, worshiped and full of life. Blessed with the flowering infant growing inside us....but as soon as they are out we need to snap back. Get back on track and do it fast.
The reality is, there is no snap back. Even if you're one of those women who immediately return to their pre-pregnancy weight, what you see isn't always what you get.
You have, over the past 9 months, grown from scratch and entirely new human and then pushed it out of the softest most sensitive part of your body. You may have stretch marks, sciatica, haemorrhoids, perennial tearing, vaginal grazes, a c-section incision, post partum hair loss, varicose veins, baby blues, post natal depression or birth trauma! And along with that you have a brand new baby who you have to learn how to care for. No one in their right mind would tell someone who had just been in an accident to start shaping up as soon as they are out of hospital, so why is it ok to say it to mums?
Every day doesn't have to be a good day. Sure you may have seen a photo of yourself you hate, or looked at yourself in a judgemental way while you got dressed. your clothes may feel tight or your hair needs a wash. It's ok to feel a bit sad about how you look sometimes, we all do. The main thing is to look at the incredible feat you have achieved and give yourself a break girl!
I have very noticeable stretch marks on my tummy from Olive. And I will admit, I don't feel great about them. In fact I can't wait for them to fade. I wasn't expecting to get them. They appeared at the very end of my pregnancy as Olive grew rapidly to prepare for birth, my skin split inside like one of those foam nets around an expensive, Japanese pear. But I don't let it define how I feel about my body. I vent about it occasionally, but then I put on some cute clothes and BAM! I no longer feel so bad.
As my friend Tahnee said to me recently, we shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad. Sometimes the first step to feeling better is letting yourself feel briefly sad. Don't beat yourself up because you can't be on top of your game every day, or you're just feeling sad because you are not quite ready to wear you pre-pregnancy jeans yet. You are allowed to feel sad. It doesn't make you selfish or vain or a bad Mum. It makes you human. Just take it one day at a time.
Eating healthy food and getting as much sleep as you can can really help with mental health. Which sounds impossible, but this is when you need to be brave and ask for some help. Even if it means just pumping and storing some milk and asking a kind person to cuddle your baby for two hours so you can sleep or do some meal prep or just go out with a friend and have some me time. (Even better, ask someone to come over and fold your laundry or walk your dog. You will be surprised how many people would love to help.) Having good mental health will help you to see yourself clearly. It is all to easy to fall into a spiral of self doubt if you're over tired and everything is piling on top of you.
I stupidly started trying to go for walks about three days after Olive was born. By the time I got to the coffee shop around the corner from my house I felt like I was going to feint, or vomit. It turns out that even though I felt ok enough, I was chronically low in Iron. So though this was a very gentle activity, I still needed to rest and restore my body properly first. When you give birth you lose so much blood, even during a "normal" birth it's no wonder you need months to recover.
It is really really important to wait until you six week check before participating in and strenuous exercise. The doctor will check everything from your blood to your cervix and let you know exactly when and how you should start to exercise, if that is something you desire.
Mental health is nothing to mess with and being bombarded by media telling us we need to be perfect can be overwhelming. Having a baby in general can be overwhelming and sometimes isolating.
If you are feeling really sad, like you can't cope or like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it is vital you contact someone immediately and let them know how you're feeling. There are so many resources now for women to get the help they deserve. Even your GP can assist you!
And lastly, no shame at all to the ladies who do get a tummy tuck, what ever makes you feel happy and good about yourself. Rock that post baby body babes, be it curvy, petite or in between. You're all gorgeous and deserve to feel that way!
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